“Daddy Can Fix it!” A Letter to my Dad on his 100th Birthday.

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Mom and Dad 1917-2008

YOUR CHILDREN THOUGHT YOU COULD DO ANYTHING. We often said to mom when anything broke or didn’t work, “Daddy can fix it” – and you usually could.  Your hands were skilled and busy at so many things in your journey through life.

YOU ROCKED YOUR BABIES; fixed my doll and brother Ed’s go-cart; drove your beloved Lincoln; loved your wife;  played piano and saxophone; washed dishes after a holiday meal; held a hymn book while you sang full and loud at church; taught me to dance, sing and drive; played cards; and hung the lights on our Christmas tree.

WHEN MOM WAS SICK,, you made us sandwiches of peanut butter, jelly and butter mixed all together.  You placed your daughters hands on your arm and walked us down the aisle; held your grandchildren; made a moving ferris wheel of an erector set for my brother for Christmas; and lifted your children up so they could see the parades.

YOU CALCULATED ANSWERS to geometry problems to help with homework; held doors open for the women in your life; swung a golf club; built beautiful wrought iron railings; set the United Way progress thermometer when you chaired the community campaign; guided mom in the samba;  and worked as a power plant engineer.

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YOU ACHIEVED A BUCKET LIST GOAL when you designed and built your dream home for you and mom; you bathed your dog Casey; passed the collection plate as deacon at the Presbyterian Church; shook hands with a smile when greeting new and old friends; carved the turkey on Thanksgiving; and over folded hands, said grace before meals.

IN THE LAST MONTHS OF YOUR LIFE, when you needed assistance, I helped you with your meals.  Sometimes, you would reach out your two hands to grasp my left hand , tightly wrapping both hands around my thumb and holding on – while my free right hand raised the spoon to your mouth.  With a touch of the spoon to your bottom lip, you would open your mouth and eagerly take the nourishment.  This was just how my infant son had held my one hand with his two – so lovingly and securely – as I fed him with the other hand.  I’m glad my son would get to know you.  I thought about the circle of life.

WHEN MOTHER SAT WITH YOU, I watched her gently hold both your hands in hers.  Holding them reverently, she would turn them over and over as if studying them, and she would whisper, “Oh Harold, all the things you could do with these hands.   You worked hard.  You were a good provider for me and our four children.  You made a good life for your family with these hands.”  Then she would hold his hands tightly to her chest and cry softly for their shared loss..

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YOUR HANDS served you well to create a life well lived.  You reached out with a friendly spirit to family, friends and co-workers and you made a difference in your world. Your hands are now still for eternity and your work on earth is done.  Your beloved wife Ina, born the same year as you in 1917, passed away in 2008, a few months after you.  We miss you both every day.

WE WILL MISS YOUR PRESENCE in the upcoming holiday – but – we will call to mind memories and stories of our life with you- “Dad loved pie of any kind” – “He hated to lose at any game” – “He had a joyful laugh” – and “Remember the time…..”.   You will be fully present in our midst,  as the family gathers for Thanksgiving.

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HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY DAD!.  

I’ll Remember Summer all Winter Long!

“The softness of a summer day is like an ermine paw.” Anais Nin (1937),  The Diary of Anais Nim (1967

SUMMER IN NORTH CAROLINA this year has sizzled with temperatures in the high 90’s and gracing 100 degrees from time to time.  Still, we’ve been blessed with the blooming majesty of summer flowers in our garden, and delicious produce fresh from our small vegetable patch, and the local farms and orchards.   Before I commit to preparations for the Fall season, I enjoy a last look.

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WE FOUND MANY LAZY DAYS to take a walk, explore or just sit on our porch with an icy sweet tea:

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WE ATE OUR FILL of fried green tomatoes, “Mater” sandwiches and just picked tomatoes in so many dishes with fresh vegetables.

 

WE DINED ON FRESH green beans, even tried greasy beans (new to us), savored juicy cantelopes and all things peaches:

WE NEVER TIRED OF WATCHING the birds in our back yard from our sunroom – house wrens, cardinals, bluebirds, yellow finches, woodpeckers, hummingbirds.

THE SQUIRRELS WOULD NOT leave the bird feeder alone – until we set up a Yankee Flipper that is weighted to throw them off.  They quickly learned, after several tries, to leave the bird feed alone, but they gave us plenty of belly laughs while they learned to stay away from it.

THIS VIEW OF NATURE has made our sunroom a real sanctuary for rest and reflection. Our dog Bear likes it too.  His job is to look for squirrels.

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THE WEATHER PREDICTION is for a cooling front this weekend.  As we step over into September, I am filled with gratitude for the bounty of summer 2017 that has enriched my life.

How softly summer shuts, without the creaking of a door.” Emily Dickinson (1880) in M.L.Todd. Letters of Emily Dickinson (1894).

Sue Marquis Bishop 2017

 

 

100th Birthday for Ima!

ON JULY 20, 1917,  beautiful twin girls, Ima Irene and Ina Mabel, were born in West Virginia to James Harrison and Mamie Jane Fox Walkup. (Ina was my mother.)  The twins two brothers, George and Steve, were delighted to be big brothers.  When they were told they had two baby sisters, George said, “Oh good.  Daddy always did get us two of everything.” Other babies born in 1917 who had an impact on the 20th century in various ways were John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Ella Fitzgerald, Indira Gandhi, Andrew Wyeth and Louis Zamperini .

WHEN THE TWINS WERE in their first year of life,  the 1918 Spanish flu hit hard.  Their mother remembers folks pouring lye all around the perimeter of their homes and property in an attempt to protect their families the only way they knew how.  Their family was spared. When the pandemic died down,  1/3 of the world’s population had died, with 500 million infected in most every corner of the world.

THE TWINS were the apple of their father’s eye.  He loved to show off his girls.  They remember him proudly taking them for ice cream.  The first time he bought them a cone of ice cream, the twins quietly ate it out of the cone, and then asked, “Can we keep the cone?”

IMA and INA were inseparable until the day that Ima left home to marry.  They slept together, played together, had the same friends, did chores together and even sat beside one another at the same desk in school.  They always wanted to dress alike and never disagreed about what they were going to wear, as long as it was the same.

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Mamie Jane Walkup and James Harrison Walkup

THEY GREW UP IN WV during the roaring 20’s, although they did not see much of the high life.  Their mother was a talented dressmaker and made all of their clothes. Their home was in a coal mining community.  They lived as well as any family in the community, with always plenty to eat.   James Harrison Walkup was a skilled Master Carpenter who maintained the wooden coal tipple and all the company houses, along with two other carpenters.   They used company script to buy groceries at the company store.

WHEN THE STOCK MARKET CRASHED IN 1929,  the town began emptying out, as work in the mines screeched to a halt.  The Walkup family stayed as long as they could, on promises from the mine owner that “things would turn around soon”.   The Walkup family witnessed hardships in many of their neighbors.  Ima and Irene frequently saw men they called hobos passing through the town begging to work for food, and knew well the story of the “stone soup”.  James was able to find some work for small pay, although he had to walk miles and miles to find it.  He often was away for weeks.  The twins remember he had cardboard and newspaper in his shoes to cover the holes in the worn out soles.

EVENTUALLY, TIMES IMPROVED. The twins rode the train to Gauley Bridge to attend high school.  The school administration in their wisdom of the day, believed it best to separate twins, so Ina and Ima were assigned to different teachers for the first time.  They were not happy about this decision.

THEY WITNESSED so many changes in their lifetimes, two world wars, political and economic changes and scientific and technological advances beyond imagining.  They saw the first “moving picture” the Jazz Singer with Al Jolsen.  Ina attended the inaugural for FDR in Washington with her sister in law Shirley.  They each married and had families, but always stayed in close touch.   And in later years, they still wanted to dress alike.

WE CELEBRATED THE TWINS 90TH BIRTHDAYS with a ride in a limo and a reception at the Hilton.  They were thrilled!  The photo sculpted in icing on the cake was from one taken when they were 18 years old. They lightly swiped their fingers over the likeness to to see if it was really a cake.

 

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                                                                  90th Birthday

INA AND IMA REMAINED CLOSE until Ina’s death in 2008 at the age of 91.   Their mother Mamie lived into her 90’s and their grandfather Fox lived until he was 99.   Our dear Aunt Ima is the first family member to celebrate a century birthday.  

PLEASE JOIN US in wishing her a Happy 100th Birthday!   We will celebrate her 100th birthday on July 20th.  She would be thrilled to receive cards of best wishes during her birthday week (or the month of July)!  Her address is:

Mrs. Ima Whately
4428 Pheasant Ridge Drive
Apt. 20
Roanoke, VA 24014

Sue Marquis Bishop, July 2017

 

 

 

 

Christmas Trees, Booties, Elves and Skeletons

CHRISTMAS TREES decorated with booties, elves, and skeltons!  Really?  There are as many different ways to decorate a tree as imagination dreams up.  On a recent visit to Novant Presbyterian Hospital to visit a family member, the lobby was full of dozens of decorated Christmas trees. All were theme trees likely decorated by the various departments in the hospital, and were to be auctioned off as a fundraiser for the hospital.

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Booties and pink and blue for the nursery babies

 

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Lollipops and elves for pediatrics
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A  Christmas reminder to give to families in need
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Ribbons, red and green
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Celebrating wildlife and winter

 

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What is this about? Maybe not a great message for patients. Was it decorated by Radiology or Orthopedics staff?

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We enjoy the beautiful Christmas tree at our house
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Yet, I carry the tree from childhood in my heart, with  its plastic lighted star Dad placed on top, and its  shiny tinsel, we hung with care, one strand at a time.

Sue Marquis Bishop 2016

 

 

 

 

 

Fantasy and Food in Sugar Hill, Georgia

LUNCH AT THE SUGAR HILL BAKERY AND CAFE’ is a foodie’s delight in an atmosphere of  fanciful decorations that brings out the child in all of us.

ON A WARM FALL DAY, my sister Nancy invited me and her friend Debbie, to one of her favorite new places for lunch.  And want a delightful adventure it was!

THE RESTAURANT IS LOCATED IN SUGAR HILL, GEORGIA,  just a frog’s jump north of Atlanta. Parking is available. We approach the bright blue building  with painted sunflowers, pumpkin doormat, and a bicycle by the front door. It’s obvious we are not going to dine in a traditionally decorated milieu.

AS WE STEP THROUGH THE DOOR,  we are greeted by a big panda hanging over a chair.

img_0697 We enter an unusual environment reminiscent of  Alice in Wonderland, and find a cozy table nook to occupy.  The large bakery cabinet across the room dominates the room, brightly lit up trumpting all kinds of sugar confections and desserts.

The menu is simple, but varied, and includes healthy options for lunch.  That is a good thing, because we all want to save room for dessert.

WHILE WE WAIT FOR OUR FOOD,  we look over the fantasy created all around us with colorful and unexpected items on display, …stuffed animals, fur coats, jack-o-lanterns, trees, and lots of glitz, bling and twinkling lights on walls and ceiling.. The women’s restroom, an entrance to “the lion, the witch and the wardrobe” is imaginative. Unmatched vintage wood chairs are pulled up to tables scattered throughout. There is much to see in every corner.

THE THREE OF US ENJOY the choices we make for lunch, including Georgia sweet tea, chicken salad and sandwiches that are fresh and tasty. Finally, the time comes to select OUR dessert.  Such a decision!  We aren’t prepared for the large size of the dessert serving  that is delivered to each of us, especially the one Debbie orders. Some of the desserts necessitate asking for a box to take some home to savor later.  And good!  …. Sweet, flaky, custardy. smooth!  Oh yes.

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THE FOOD IS THE BEST REASON TO VISIT the Sugar Hill Bakery and Café, but the décor is the second best reason that makes having lunch here a respite from a busy life and the usual luncheon fare. It’s a quirky place for girlfriends to meet and chat, a place to take your children to be dazzled by the whimsy, or even for a couple to enjoy a cool drink to begin a romantic evening, in out of the ordinary surroundings.

A CHARMING WOMAN named Nancy (in the middle below) created and manages the Sugar Hill Bakery and Cafe’.  If you stop in for lunch, ask for Nancy and tell her what you appreciated about the experience.( Two Nancys and Debbie in photo below.)

Bon appetit’!

Sue Marquis Bishop 2016

 

 

 

 

When Thank You is Not Enough

“THANK YOU for being there.”   “Thank you for your support.”  But what do you say then when thank you is not enough? 

IT ALWAYS FEELS GOOD to do something to help another person in times of stress or need.   I am not as comfortable, however, being the recipient of caregiving.

Agatha Christie said that “you cannot give to people what they are incapable of receiving”,
(Funerals are Fatal, 1951).

A RECENT EVENT requiring major surgery brought unexpected assistance and loving support to our door…and this big sister learned an important late life lesson to accept my younger siblings generous offerings of presence at a special time of need.

WE DID NOT IMAGINE anyone needed to stay with us during my anticipated hospitalization.  However…, my sister and two brothers and spouses arranged among themselves (a surprise!) to plan a week in our home (at different times) just to be available to do what was needed.

MY HUSBAND AND I thrived on such loving care. I let go of organizing in my mind what needed to be done (meals and this and that),  and accepting the proffered gift that all was taken care of, I focused on my single task to get well.

THEY WERE THERE FOR BOTH OF US when I was in the hospital, and when I returned home. I know the surgeon’s skill and medical care made my recovery possible, but I am confident that my recovery was hastened by the emotional proximity of loving family, great meals, and laughter at stories and happenings that can only be fully appreciated by family who have been together for many years.

THEY HAVE NOW RETURNED to their own busy lives in Georgia and Florida, and we are all back into our normal lives.

“It may be more blessed to give than to receive, but there is more grace in receiving than giving. When you receive, whom do you love and praise? The giver.”   Jessmyn West, The Woman Said Yes, (1976).

Thank you Ed, Sue, Nancy, Milt and Ann! 

EACH OF YOU BRINGS SPECIAL TALENTS to our family , and as a family, we re richer for it (including my sisters by marriage). You are loving and caring individuals who are living productive lives and making a difference in your worlds. I remember well your births and witnessed your growing up years, and  I  still occasionally see your young faces in your adult expressions..

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I couldn’t be prouder to be your sister!

Sue Marquis Bishop
2016

The Dressmaker’s Legacy: A Poem

IMG_0153The Dressmaker’s Legacy

Grandma Mamie’s hands were always busy
creating beauty where there was none –
from threads, potato sacks, fabric scraps and wool,
she designed, tatted, crocheted, knit and sewed.
She had magic in her hands.

She might have been a famous dress designer
in another time – with other opportunities.
She could envision a garment,
make a pattern from newspaper,
cut the fabric and sew the new creation.

When her twins were two, she made
a white cotton dress with crocheted yoke and sleeves.
her daughters kept the yokes all their lives,
as a loving reminder of their mother.

When her twins were 15, they sketched a dress
with a hem longer on one side than the other.
They said it reminded them of a shirt untucked
on one side, so they named it the “shirt-tail dress.
Grandma designed it and made two.
Classmates at Gauley Bridge High School
wanted one too, so grandma made more, and
started a local fad in West Virginia.
The shirt-tail dress, ahead of its time,
a dress with an asymmetrical hem.

Grandma believed clothes for her twins
should be ready to wear at the same time,
(no favoritism here), so she cut out sleeves for one,
then sleeves for the other, bodice for one,
then bodice for the other, and so on.
Cutting and sewing parts in tandem,
both dresses were ready to wear – at the same time.

She crocheted elegant tablecloths,
intricate feminine collars for dresses and suits,
flat doiles for the arms of her chairs;
fancy ones with starched ruffles for her tables,
and bedspreads of pleasing patterns;
tatted delicate lace for trims;
knitted afghans to cuddle under in winter,
soft booties, hats and small quilts for
new grandchildren and great grandchildren.
She used scraps of leftover material and old clothes
to design and sew beautiful quilts by hand.
She worked magic with those hands.

Grandma’s hands were always busy,
Even when she sat at rest and her sight grew dim,
there was piecework in her lap.
In her 80’s, she was happiest when family visited,
eyes bright with anticipation,
especially when children were coming.
Her wrinkled face with thick glasses greeted us in smiles.
She held both our hands and looked into our eyes when she talked.
I remember staring at her slender hands – with age spots,
blue veins and arthritic joints – tenderly holding mine
and hoping a little of her magic rubbed off on me.

Grandma’s art is in my home now,
fruits of her labor all around.
A favorite quilt pulls at memories
each time I see it, or touch it,
made of fabric swatches from clothes
my mother, sister and I wore in years past.
Sleeping under the warmth of this quilt
brings comfort from the past beyond measure.
I treasure too, my babies quilts,
the kitchen napkins with crocheted edges,
her doiles I have framed, and
the white crocheted bedspread
I drape with care each Summer
on the white bed in the guest room,
as a artist displays a valuable art piece.

Her legacy is greater than treasured items.
Grandma Mamie passed on the value of work,
and the will to create beauty in practical things
that comfort – and make a home.

Sue Marquis Bishop
Copywrite 2013

Reflections on Loss of Loved Ones

A prose poem reflecting on the accelerating pace of losses in the years beyond 50, is shared on the 20th anniversary of April’s National Poetry Month.

Someone Left the Window Open

Someone left the window open and they are slipping through,
One by one, and two by twos –
Loving grandparents – drum majors of a parade –
Uncle Don who drove everywhere looking for little pink pigs like ones in my storybook;
Betty Davis, dear childhood friend, named for a movie star, who survived polio to be felled by its re-awakening in later years;
Uncle Frank, who told scary ghost stories, loved Florida and lived life his way;
Uncle William, who lived a formal life as Presbyterian minister till he retired and put away his suits for blue jeans and bluegrass;
Aunt Ermal, who was dietitian at Cumberland College, loved playing Sorry, and made memories with her fruitcakes;
Aunt Verna, who cared for her town as county public health physician;
Aunt Maggie, who liked brandy alexander’s, managed her own business and parachuted from a plane in her 80’s;
Aunt Shirley, who enjoyed taking care of her home and sang country songs while she washed dishes;
Aunt Fanella, twin sister of my father, who kept kinfolk connected and her faith strong;
Dottie, my 6 foot tall college roommate, who had a big heart, a hearty laugh and was a wonderful nurse;
Sweet Alice, my Indiana University officemate, loyal to her friends, who found love in later life;
Mother-in-law Nora, loving mother and grandmother, who taught first grade for 52 years;
Brother-in-law Don, who went at life in a run, and took good care of my sister;
Dad, a talented and happy man who lived life well, but left under the veil of dementia; and
Mother, who loved Christmas, her family, and her home in Madison, and lived to 91.
Someone left the window open, and we keep slipping through.

Sue Marquis Bishop
Copywrite 2013

THERE ARE MANY BENEFITS to living fully in the years beyond 50.  One of the hard knocks we experience with increasing age, however, is the accelerating pace of loss of significant others in our social networks.

I CONTINUE TO FEEL  the presence and influence of loved ones who are no longer here, in so many ways –  in funny family stories re-told,  sage advice remembered, family talents and traditions passed on. My life has been enriched by knowing them. I feel gratitude and joy, that they were part of my life.

Welcome Spring!

“It is Easter morning.
Children who are still gentle as milk,
wake to its wonder.”
Caryll Houselander, “Souer Marie Emilie”, The Flowering Tree (1945),

It’s Spring!

 “Autumn arrives in the early morning, but spring at the close of a winter day.”
Elizabeth Bowen, The Death of the Heart (1938).

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Forsythia is …pure, undiluted, untouched joy.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Bring Me a Unicorn (1971).
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Flowers and plants are silent presences; they nourish every sense except the ear”.
May Sarton, Plant Dreaming Deep (1968).

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Have you ever looked into the heart of a flower? …I love their delicacy, their disarming innocence and their defiance of life itself”.
Princess Grace of Monaco with G. Robyns, My Book of Flowers (1980). 

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“Arranging a bowl of flowers in the morning can give a sense of quiet in a crowded day – like writing a poem, or saying a prayer.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift From the Sea (1955).

“Every spring is the only spring, a perpetual astonishment.”
Ellis Peters, The Summer of the Danes, (1991).

 

Spring is a time of reflection and hope for new beginnings (SMB).

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It’s Spring !
Welcoming sun’s warmth on bare arms;
tilting  faces up to tree branches ablaze with pink and white blooms;
bending to touch nature’s  yellow and red living lights on bushes,
gathering a bouquet of smiling faces pushed up amidst grass and rocks.
Witnessing a joyful display for the senses this Easter! (SMB).

Sue Marquis Bishop,2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changing Carpets From Winter to Spring

In spring, nature is like a thrifty housewife…taking up the white carpets and putting down the green ones.” Mary B. Eddy, Miscellaneous Writings, 1896.

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ONLY A FEW SHORT WEEKS AGO,  we enjoyed a light carpeting of Southern snow as a snowstorm blanketed the North in huge drifts.  But…it only lasted two days in Charlotte, until it morphed into water and disappeared.

WHEN IT SNOWS IN THE SOUTH,  it only stops in for tea and a brief respite before melting and running away.

SIGNS OF SPRING are emerging here and there in Charlotte as February and March days turn warm, then cool, then windy.  Today, it is sunny and 80 degrees.

Dormant
buds bursting
open winter casings;

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Carolina
Jasmine’s display
beckoning us outside;

Blue
birds gathering
at the feeders:

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Pedaling
with the
wind in my face;
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Rosy
pink ground
cover kissing lawns;

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Forsythia
showing up
gray tree trunks:

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Reading
and dreaming
at Spring Park Pond.

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I’M READY FOR TOMATOES from the garden, flowers blooming in profusion, breezy days on the porch, walks in the sunshine, reading by Spring Park pond, cookouts, and yes… even Spring cleaning.

I AM GRATEFUL to be here, in this place, witnessing the emergence of Spring once again.

“Suddenly a mist of green on the trees, as quiet as thought.”
Dorothy M Richardson, Pilgrimage: The Trap, 1925.

Sue Marquis Bishop, 2016

 

 

 

 

 

What’s New for Spring Gardens?

SPRING PEEKS OUT from Winter doldrums.   It’s time to visit Spring Home and Garden Shows…to see what’s new and interesting for Spring 2016.

SPRING FLOWERS will soon be
Dressing yards and neighborhoods in  colorful finery,
Re-awakening senses to the world spread before us, and
Tugging on memories of playful Spring days with loved ones.

We see flowers everywhere on our visit to the Cabarrus County Home and Garden Show in North Carolina.

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Water features on display are varied and add soothing music to garden displays.

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Hummingbirds prefer a shallow water feature. This year’s show featured artistic hummingbird baths for the  colorful birds to dip their needle beaks into a garden art piece.

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Created-to-order wrought iron garden benches add sculptural beauty to any garden .

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The whimsical item plants smiles in the garden.

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And places to sit a spell and chat, or have an evening meal in artisan-crafted furniture, add comfort and style to outdoor garden rooms.

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OK.  Now, I really do have Spring Fever.  Cool Spring breezes, dining alfresco, flowering bulbs and budding trees, working in the rich earth.  What project do I want to tackle this year to brighten my garden?

Spring …bursts with all the relish of a sudden surprise.”
(Mrs. William Starr Dana, According to Seasons, 1894.

Sue Marquis Bishop, 2016

 

I Ate Brain-Boosting Foods All Day!

THE ONE-PAGE ARTICLE*  EXTOLLED the virtues of four foods scientists suggest may have a protective effect to enhance memory and mental abilities into our senior years.  The headline on the magazine article promised we could maintain our cognitive brilliance into old age, if we ate these brain-boosting foods every day.

OK, I’M IN!  Today, I will eat all four (4) of the brain -boosting foods.

BLUEBERRIES

IT SEEMS THAT THE ANTIOXIDANTS in the blueberries may result in more oxygen-rich blood circulating to the brain. The goal is to eat a cup of blueberries daily. In one briefly quoted study of 16,000 women, researchers found the women who ate more blueberries had “younger minds”. .

I LOVE BLEUBERRIES, so this one is easy.  When blueberries are in season, I freeze several large containers for the freezer. Since they can be frozen without being washed, it doesn’t take much time.  They freeze in separate, sweet balls.  Throughout the year, I can grab a handful, rinse them well, and add to cereal, smoothies, muffins, ice cream, or salad.

FOR BREAKFAST TODAY, I add blueberries to wheat chex cereal, with strawberries, bananas and walnuts.  The wheat chex adds additional fiber for a healthy start to the day, and a breakfast so crunchy and sweet tasting.

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LOW-FAT YOGURT

YOGURT THAT IS FORTIFIED with vitamin D  will give us about 20% of this vitamin we need every day. It is suggested that vitamin D may help strengthen connections among the cells of the brain, and some research has found that a loss of cognitive ability is associated with lower levels of vitamin D.

YOGURT CAN BE USED IN MULTIPLE WAYS in the kitchen, such as: a yogurt and dill topping for grouper or talipia; added to muffins for moistness; fruit and yogurt as a dessert or snack.

I DECIDE TO MAKE A YOGURT smoothie today.  I blend the following ingredients in a smoothie blender: ice, yogurt, skim milk, blueberries, strawberries, vanilla flavoring, honey, strawberry Slimfast protein powder.   Hmmm.  So icy and creamy and very filling!

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CABBAGE

I DO LIKE CABBAGE, BUT I don’t know if I want to eat it every single day.  We could have cooked cabbage and potatoes, a favorite of my Scotch-Irish grandmother. Or, cole slaw with carrots and onions and a creamy dressing.

I COULD SWITCH OFF and prepare roasted cauliflower or Brussel sprouts, other cruciferous vegetables with health benefits.  Some studies suggest the glucosinolates in these vegetables may lower rates of forgetfulness.  Wouldn’t it be great if it really were this simple to lower the incidence of Alzheimer’s ? Anyway, it’s recommended we eat 2-3 servings a week to benefit.

FOR DINNER TODAY, I make one of my favorite meals, a hearty vegetable soup, more like a stew with thick vegetables and a savory broth.  In this soup, I cut up the vegetables I have on hand. I like to enjoy each of the different vegetables, so I cut them up in large chunks,…toss them in the crock pot and let them cook for 4 hours until done and the flavors blend: chicken broth, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, onions, zuchinni, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, thyme, rosemary, salt and pepper, bay leaves (3) tomatoes, 1/4 cup red wine.

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THE HOT SOUP smells rich and savory as I sprinkle it with parmesan.  This is a satisfying meal.

ALMOND BUTTER

THE VITAMIN E IN ALMOND BUTTER may be a memory booster for the human brain, by reducing oxidative damage, according to a new study in The Journal of Nutrition , Health and Aging, quoted in the magazine article.  

I HAVE ONLY RECENTLY BEEN BUYING ALMOND BUTTER.  I use it in banana-almond butter smoothies or as an ingredient for an icing for muffins. This evening, I make an evening snack of almond butter toast, drizzled with wildflower honey, and a cup of English breakfast tea.  A spot of tea on a rainy evening with a good book, is a lovely way to end the day.

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WELL, I DID IT!  I ate all four of the brain-boosting foods heralded in the woman’s magazine article in one day.  Now, where is that crossword puzzle I couldn’t finish this morning?

(* Information quoted in this post referencing the 4 brain foods and quoted health benefits were based on: “Eat These to Keep Your Memory Sharp”, p. 63, Redbook Magazine, March 2016)

Sue Marquis Bishop, PhD
2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

17 Books of LOVE: The Ties That Bind Are Not Just Lovers

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LOVE COMES IN MANY FORMS. Human connections give life meaning.  We celebrate romantic love on Feb 14th. Seventeen (17) books reviewed briefly in this post, depict love and bonding in many different relationships and ages, and the grief of loss when it is gone.

An Available Man by Hilma Wolitzer (2012).
How do I learn to live as a widower?  One man’s journey of  how he navigated his new life as a widower, following the loss of his beloved wife. The reaction of others in his community as they responded to his changed status as a newly single man, was believable and often humorous.  Realistic depiction of grief and loss; risking new relationships.  A charming man to invite for a dinner party.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion (2013).  
Socially challenged man searches for love.  A funny, touching story about a brilliant genetics professor with Asperger’s who sets out to find a wife.  I laughed aloud in places as he meticulously plans his strategy, and as his plans often go awry.   Australian author.

The Republic of Love by Carol Shields, Harper Perennial, (1992).
Finding someone in later life: The author is a master at noticing minute details of living, both emotional and material.  Fay and Tom find love and connection in later life.  Story depicts human need to have a special someone to share life.

The Rockin’ Chair by  Steven Manchester (2013).
Leaving a legacy of love:  heart-warming story of love, family, forgiveness, continuity, place, home and creating a legacy.  Everyone should have a grandpa John to go home to….

Finding Home by Jackie Weger (1987, 2014).
Love of family, search for belonging:   A story about a quirky and determined woman … a good-ole-girl with a big heart… who sets in motion a plan to find a home for herself and her large family.  So many funny parts I laughed out loud…and rooted for Phoebe to get her man and her house…and find a place to belong along the way.

The Illegal Gardner by Sara Alexi (Greek Book Collection 1) (2012). 
Non-romantic  bonding between two socially different individuals based on interdependent needs:  Takes place in a small Greek village.  An English woman’s journey, along with her Pakistani gardener, an illegal immigrant refugee with limited options for his family. Their chance meeting and ensuing working relationship provides comfort and meaning to their lives.  Themes: gardens, human needs for connection, opportunity, mutuality of relationship.

Forever Interrupted by Taylor Jenkins Reid (2009).  Young love and loss; bonding between women: A heart-breaking novel of two young adults who meet, fall in love and marry and hours later the bridegroom dies in a freak accident.  Is she a widow, when she hasn’t had time to even be a wife?  So truthful about the vagaries of grief. Hope and affection is discovered in unexpected places for mother and daughter-in-law.

Walk Me Home by Catherine Ryan Hyde (2013).
Bonds between sisters, connecting with strangers to create a new family:  Two sisters begin a long walk across states after their only parent is killed, to find an old boyfriend of their mother’s that they think would care for them now.  Their adventure takes them into Indian country where they meet a unique and no-nonsense Indian woman, who changes their lives.

11/22/6 by Stephen King, (2011).
Love story set in 1950’s: Time travel and attempts to right some wrongs in the past, e.g., killing of President Kennedy. Time travel to 1950’s is detailed in food, fashion, dance, customs, technology.  King must have been a jitterbugger by his detailed description of this dance 50’s style. Secondary theme is a love story.

Fortune is a Woman by Elizabeth Adler, Dell Publishing (1992).
Lifetime  bonds among three strong women: Settings from China to San Francisco to rural New Mexico. Story of how the lives of three strong women connected over years.  Unexpected events from start to finish  keeps you turning pages.  I didn’t see the ending coming.

Somewhere in Heaven: The Remarkable Love Story of Dana and Christopher Reeve by Christopher Anderson, Hyperion (2008).
A true love story.  This biography is a love story of two exceptional individuals whose lives continue to inspire.  Presents challenges of living every day paralyzed from the shoulders down… and what happens to the body.  Given this huge burden, it is amazing what Dana and Chris accomplished together!

1929: (Book 1), by M.L. Gardner (2009).
Bonding of friends during times of economic disaster to survive:  Story of three  American couples (all friends) who lose their wealthy lifestyle in the 1929 stock market crash, and must now find a way to survive poverty, and to rebuild their lives. Story focuses on what happens to them, their servants and in-laws during the years after 1929. Depicts the real life situation that many families experienced in our grandparents generation, as a result of the 29′ crash….the abject poverty for so many, the greedy who took advantage of events, and efforts to survive..   The  1929 series consists of 6 books, but I recommend only Book 1.

I know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (1969).
Family, Community and learning to love self.  Powerful memoir from African-American writer of her early years. Compelling narrative raises questions about love, abuse, racism, home, country and family.  I heard so much about this book, I wanted to read it.  I’m glad I did.  Maya died last year in NC.

Where the River Ends by Charles Martin (2008).
A haunting story of love and letting go.  A final journey of an artist and the love of his life, who is dying of a terminal illness.  They steal away from her possessive family (the Senator, ) and take a harrowing last trip (at her request) up the river from SC to Georgia, in a small boat.  Her body dies a little every day, but she radiates joy, as they meet interesting people and share experiences along the way. Would you have done it?

A Gentle Rain by Deborah Smith (2007).
Love comes in all sizes; appreciating differences.   A warm, fuzzy love story of rural life in North Central Florida.  Eccentric characters include lovable, mentally challenged and other unique and strong characters.  Rich girl seeking her birth parents, arrives at farm and quickly makes herself indispensable. You will cheer for main characters, even though you just have to overlook too many coincidences and just enjoy the tale.

The Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah (2011).
Adult-child bonding. A child arrives in a small town in the American Northwest, who can’t speak, and doesn’t show normal social behaviors. Major focus of story is the building of bridges of communication between a woman psychiatrist and the feral child.

Tuesday’s Socks by Alison Ragsdale (2014)
Risking first love at 64 years.  In the Scottish town of Pitochry, Jeffrey finds a path to change the ordered life he has led and risk change that will lead to big life changes.  His day socks, a loving mother and a mysterious dog urge him on his journey.  This story is slow moving, but fits the rhythm of Jeffrey’s structured life and the baby steps he takes to finally change his solitary life.  Characters are believable.  A first novel by this author. Some lonely folks may need a push, sometimes more than once, to take a leap of faith.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Celebrate LOVE This Valentine’s Day

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get-
only with what you are expecting to give-
which is everything.”
Katherine Hepburn, Me (1991).

LOVE IS CELEBRATED annually with one special day set aside mid-February as Valentine’s Day. An entry in the Huffington Post estimates that Americans will spend over $17 billion to celebrate love this year.  If the print and TV ads are any indication, the emphasis is on lovers expecting grand gestures and expensive outings and gifts.  A review of TV sit-com stories suggests considerable storm and stress for characters planning or expecting extravagant Valentine’s Day gifts/events.

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Photo by SMB

YET … WE MAY BE MISSING SOMETHING, by not seeing the potential of Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to communicate our love and affection beyond our spouse/lover, to other  loved ones  in our personal social networks of mutual affection.  Who are the persons in your social world who bring meaning and joy to your life?…(e,g,  sons, daughters, siblings, parents, extended family members? ).  You might also include other closely held friends in your network of affection.

“To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.” Anne-Sophie Swetchine (1809).

ADS ARE PLENTIFUL this time of year for expensive gifts of jewelry/trips/evenings out.  In my view, something expensive is not necessary.  It really is the thought that counts.

IT’S A LOVELY TRADITION to receive a card with heart warming message, maybe enclosed with a special tea bag, or flowers (even one bud), or even a thoughtful  message that says, ” I thought of you on Valentine’s Day”.

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A MESSAGE OR SMALL GIFT tailored to fit the interests and likes of a special person…such as:

VALENTINE’S CARD with a touching message relevant for the relationship;
BOOK from a favorite author, favorite candy bar, or music CD;
POEM written by you, or published one expressing your feelings;
BOUQUET of flowers, or just one beautiful flower bud in a vase;
CANDLELIGHT dinner with the recipient’s favorite foods;
MOVIE to watch together that you dislike, but know he loves;
BREALFAST in bed;
SMALL GIFT the person needs (e.g., kitchen, gardening or garage tool);
THOUGHTFUL TEXT message on Valentine’s Day to siblings
NOTE in card or post-it on mirror recounting a shared funny or loving event;
CHEERY VOICE MAIL wishing the recipient Happy Valentine’s Day;
PLANS to take someone to enjoy a new experience
PHONE CALL to elder kin and friends who are alone just to chat and wish them Happy Valentine’s Day.

A GIFT THAT REFLECTS  the interests and needs of the recipient, and the nature of the relationship,  can send a strong and loving message that  communicates,
“I remember”,
“I know you”,
“I get you”, and
“I love you.”

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I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved.”  George Eliot (1875).

THIS FEBRUARY,  may you be the happy recipient and generous sender of affection to the nearest and dearest in your social network.  Valentine’s Day, and the month of February, can remind us of the importance of communicating affection to those close to our hearts.

“Love will not always linger longest,
With those who hold it in too clenched a fist.”
Alice Duer Miller (1931).

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Sue Marquis Bishop
February 14, 2016

 

 

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